Day 3: The quick weight loss fix and implications

I have always struggled with an excess of 10-15 pounds around my waist. As a result of that, I have developed a few energetic relationships including:

1. Seeing myself as ugly and unattractive
2. Seeing myself as fat
3. Wishing that I had a slim body like a top model through comparison
4. Wanting quick fixes to get rid of those extra pounds
5. Feeling angry and my genetics for not being 'ideal'
6. Not appreciating my body as in lack of self-acceptance
7. Giving into the society conditioning that only models are beautiful because of their body
8.  Seeing myself as inferior to other women who have slim bodies
9. Fear that I will become obese and that my partner will cease to love me
10. Not accepting myself for who I am as in wishing to have perfect attractive looks

I also end up thinking about my body all the time because in the American society, a lot of importance is placed on looks and having the perfect body shape. Turn on you TV and you will be bombarded with ads that directly or indirectly promote some product for weight loss. It has become an epidemic.

A few months ago, I desperately wanted to shed some pounds. I ended up investigating diet pills. I found one that had a 99% customer satisfaction and it was advertized on a very popular show so I thought that it should do the trick. The bottle said to take 2 pills which I did. The 2 pills were equivalent to 3-6 cups of coffee and I happen to not be a coffee drinker so I had a bad reaction to it. I felt dizzy and my breathing rate increased. At that time I thought I was going to die. Thank god I was working in the hospital that day and I instantly went down to seek help.

From that incident came my second panic attack and I realized then that all these products that have been advertized for weight loss are just not the safest. A lot of money gets wasted on them and not just that, we end up compromising our own health just for a quick fix. Consumerism and fast lifestyle has enabled us to invent things that tend to 'promise' to make our lives more convenient and that too really fast, but they do some at a risk.

So here is an overview of how we as a society create all of this.

First we create a system where we are chasing after money to make ends meet simultaneously promoting consumerism
Then we adopt a very fast paced lifestyle
As a consequence of that fast paced lifestyle we create stress in our lives and invent products to help us cope with that fast paced lifestyle such as fast foods and other sugary items which we crave due to stress
With fast foods we end up gaining weight especially because now they contain a lot of harmful ingredients that cause addiction
When we gain weight we see ourselves as unattractive and constantly start fueling the consciousness system with energy derived relationships via emitting emotions and feelings
Then we look for a fix to overcome this fast food epidemic via creating diet pills or rigid exercise programs to just shed the pounds to attempt to look attractive
This leads to a condition called yo yo dieting where we diet, shed the pounds and end up gaining it back again and we repeat the pattern throughout our lives
The creation of quick fix pills is another form of consumerism 
So we are simply fueling a cycle of consumerism where we start off with consuming and end up consuming

I  forgive myself for allowing myself to see myself as fat, unattractive and ugly because of an excess of 10 pounds around my waist.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to compare me with top models and wish that I had their figure because of the perception that they have the best bodies because they attract a lot of male attention and because I don't have males attracted to my body that I end up wishing to be in their shoes.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to create this belief that only women who are of the same size as models are seen as beautiful while the rest of us are simply fat and ugly, therefore creating an inferiority complex inside of me.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to become consumed with the collective mindset of north Americans where beauty is correlated to a perfect body as the starting point of that society is based on how good looking a person is, thereby creating inequality in several aspects because people are discriminated against just based on looks.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to blame my genes and parents for creating me the way I am due to that excess weight around me and experiencing anger
I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear my partner leaving me because of my excess weight
I forgive myself for allowing myself to only resort to quick fixes to help me with my extra weight loss

When and as I see myself comparing myself to other slim figures, I stop and I breathe. I instantly tell myself that by seeing other bodies as more beautiful that I have in fact implied to myself that I am not worthy and beautiful because I do not possess what models have, and as a result of that, create more agony and misery in my own life. I realize that by seeing others as more than me that I am creating abuse through the form of self-sabotage where I see myself, as life, as inferior that someone else, which does not make sense as life can't be inferior- life is life in whatever expression it comes from. I realize that by participating in the construct of competition, that I am only participating in a polarity game where  I have now created the concept of a winner and a loser and that fuels the mind via energy mind reactions. I therefore commit to stopping all reactions that I create whenever I see a picture of 'the ideal woman' in the media.

When and as I see myself desiring a quick fix for my weight loss, I stop and I breathe. I tell myself that a quick fix is not going to solve the root of the problem, it is simply like putting a bandage over a wound. The wound will heal on its own via the body while the bandage is simply providing a less threatening condition to promote self healing. Similarly, for weight loss, the self- correction is to realize that quick fixes only promote yo-yo dieting where one would spend the rest of their life eating and dieting and eating again and not enjoy a good life quality. I commit to making sure that I make food my medicine and incorporate in my diet those foods that will help my physical obtain nutrients.

When and as I see myself engaging in thoughts that promote self-sabotage such as seeing myself as fat, I pause and I breathe. I instantly tell myself that I fall within the healthy range in the BMI and that does not imply that I am fat. If my pants don't fit me anymore this is simply an indication that something is not in alignment and in this case I take 100% responsibility to eating better and healthier to ensure that I get back to the weight that I tend to be around.