Today, I went to see my psychologist and I had an interesting realization. Society places a lot of expectations on being a trophy wife, but have we ever taken a step back and really observed what we are doing to our kids? Parents in general want their kids to become trophy kids, where they place expectations on what their kids should achieve to satisfy their own desires.
Typically, parents want their kids to excel at everything, especially academics. For some parents, it is also about having their kids become popular and famous. When the kids do not perform as per what the parents desire, then comes conflict. Then the relationship between parents and kids take a downwards turn and some kids choose to never speak to their parents again.
Yet, the trophy kids can also find its way into more global issues such as poverty. In countries like India for instance, it is not surprising to find people making kids and then purposely breaking a leg or finger to arouse pity in others who would donate money to them. In such extreme cases, kids are not even seen as humans but objects for money.
Kids have unfortunately become the new trophy, where they are placed into this world with the starting premise of helping parents boost their ego via the kid's performance. I hear my coworkers brag a lot about their kids and how skilful and popular they are. All I can wonder is why? If your kid is that great, why brag about them?
It is time that we see kids for really who they are, living expressions who are born to develop their potentials and bring about a world filled with equality. It is time that we move from a world of competition to cooperation where we teach kids values which will help them serve mankind. It is time we see kids for what talents they bring with them to this world as opposed to what talents we parents want them to evolve.
SF:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a victim because I failed to fulfil my parent's desires.
When and as I see myself feeling sad, angry, overwhelmed and upset that I did not meet expectations, I pause and I breathe. I allow myself to release myself from this energetic dependence I am holding onto, which is simply just fueling the mind. I understand that in order for me to not repeat the same pattern as my parents, that I am required to let go of that accumulated energy and train my mind to seek to help my child understand where their talents are and how to develop them.
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