This is a continuation of my previous blog on underestimating my potentials and today we are investigating point number 2, which is: The person has found someone who does better.
When one compares oneself to someone else, one will have a tendency to only consider what the other person is presenting at the time. One will only look for those traits that one wishes to see so that they can preoccupy their minds and generate feelings of being a loser, worthless, inadequate, hopeless and so on. What one feeds into is called the polarity game as comparison creates a winner and a loser.
When one participates in this game, one is creating in themselves a winner or a loser depending on the outcome and therefore one swings back and forth simultaneously generating energy via emotions and feelings. That is when one underestimates one's potentials because they always see the grass greener on the other side. One ends up developing self-mistrust and consequently lives life without developing themselves or participating in activities that will support them.
One needs to really investigate deeper and realize that this belief that one has seen someone who does better is in fact something that one has created to enslave oneself. Who is one to judge that someone else is better? Plus, what criteria does one use to determine for them that the other person does better? Yes, perhaps that other person scored higher in an exam. One perceives them as being smarter just based on that one sole factor. Let us take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
If I were to look back, there were some people in my class who always got the highest grades. Take a look at them now from a practical mind. Those with high grades became doctors and lawyers. Those with lower grades also chose the same career. Therefore high grades had absolutely nothing to do with profession choice or the financial outcome of my previous classmates.
The two factors which determine the outcome are the notion of being at the right place and at the right time as well as having the money to afford to go to a university of choice. Let me expand on that. I have a cousin who studied the same course as I did. He has not been able to find himself a job in my native country or europe. I happen to live in Canada and I have been lucky to land a job. Therefore, grades have absolutely nothing to do with being able to find a job.
Also when comparing, one tends to only compare one particular aspect. What about other areas of that other person's life? How can one convince oneself that someone else is better than them by only focusing on that one aspect that they are demonstrating? Now this is not to say that one should look at other aspects and begin comparing oneself to them in every possible way. This is just a fact for one to realize that there is more than what meets the eye. I happen to have another cousin who always did poorly in high school because he focused on partying and drinking. Despite not doing so well, he was still able to get admission to medical school. If I were to compare me to him, I could definitely state that he was no more smarter than me academically but yet he will be richer than me now because of his profession.
I can now find myself feeling inferior to him because he will get more money or I can find myself superior to him just based on the academics. The point is, if I were to just take one aspect at a time, I would either feel inferior or superior. When I look at both aspects, there seems to be a neutralization of positive and negative energy. From a practical starting point, it is pointless to compare ourselves with others because we are basing our response on what we want to perceive to make ourselves feel good or bad as opposed to looking at things for what they are in their totality.
What one needs to practically realize at this stage is that we create our consequences. The person who scores high grades for instance is someone who may simply be genetically smarter or may have prepared themselves extensively to create the desired outcome. Rather than comparing oneself to someone else and experiencing feelings of jealousy and so on, what one could ask oneself is: did I give all I could give to get the outcome I have?
And if one is self-honest with oneself, one will either realize that this is all they could do and be content with their result or they will realize that they could have done better. If one could have done better, then one should simply understand that if they want things to change, as in desiring a different outcome, then obviously they will have to make changes in their life to accommodate that. That is when one will have to do some self-investigation and find out exactly what the root cause of the issue is that is deterring them from their desired success and self-correct.
What one also needs to realize is that genes can also be a factor that limits one's potentials. If we were to watch the olympics, it seems that the fastest runners happen to be of african origin. One will have to ask if they happen to have genetic advantages over other races when it comes to physical conditions such as running. That itself alone can teach us that there is no reason for us to compare ourselves with one another because we are all not starting with the same conditions. All of us are genetically unique and if genetics determine how well we perform, then we need to come to the realization that we just need to accept ourselves for who we are.
A practical thing one could do to develop one's potential is to compare self with self in relation to time. Take an aspect of oneself that one wants to develop and look at the performance now and some time in the future and determine for oneself if there has been any improvement. This will eliminate the genetic variable as well as the variable that we are all not starting with the same conditions.
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