Let us first understand the definitions of insecurity based on the dictionary
in·se·cure
adjective
So I will in my blog take each of these points and expand on them.
Childhood experiences:
1.subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured: an insecure person.
2.not confident or certain; uneasy; anxious: He was insecure about the examination.
3.not secure; exposed or liable to risk, loss, or danger: an insecure stock portfolio.
4.not firmly or reliably placed or fastened: an insecure ladder.
As I was investigating this, I came across a website called: http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-Insecurities which provided me with a thorough perspective on the triggers of insecurity and I thought that it would be fruitful to build on what has already been researched.
An insecure person is subject to fears and doubts/uncertainty. The reasons for that are multi-dimensional. As per the above website, insecurity in the psychological sense refers to not feeling sure about
oneself, including not being sure about who they are or what they
believe in. An insecure person is a vulnerable person, easily shaped by
the views, opinions,
and ideas of others because they're uncertain about their own values
and they're unwilling to question the ideas of other people or stand up for themselves.
What causes all of that?
- A person may have had poor formative experiences that have stunted aspects of their personality. They may have had chaotic, violent or distressing childhood, adolescent or early adulthood experiences. They may live in fear of someone, have been subjected to very rigid expectations, or have never been allowed to express their feelings.
- Insecurity can arise as a result of peer pressure or societal expectations. Feeling as if you're not living up to standards set by media images and stories can create an unhealthy lack of self-like that evolves into insecurity.
- Insecurity can occur because of a past experience of failure and through a lack of resilience the insecure person doesn't see the past failure once-off but instead has allowed it to color all future experiences and interactions.
- Lacking a secure emotional basis to both "set down roots and grow wings" creates insecurities: for people who experience domestic abuse, verbal, physical or sexual abuse, emotional game-playing, transient lifestyles, etc., insecurity can manifest as a defense mechanism that seeks to protect their poorly formed or barely nourished sense of self from being entirely obliterated by the domination of others in a position of power over them.
So I will in my blog take each of these points and expand on them.
Childhood experiences:
When I was in kindergarten, all I recall was the bad happenings that happened during that phase. Interesting that I have absolutely no recollection of any positive experiences from those times. I do recall that my kindergarten teachers did not treat me well at all and did all they could to just punish me for no real reason.
I can't even recall being able to express my feelings to them as in standing up for myself. At that age, it was just too confusing. I therefore developed a sense of distrust.
Peer Pressure and societal expectations
When I was in primary school, I was bullied and the peer pressure involved me not doing the best I could because if I beat the bully in terms of academics, then she would tell everyone to not talk to me and therefore I would feel isolated.
I was under a lot of stress to perform well in school and that was an expectation from my family.
Here in Canada, I compare myself to other top models with sexy slim bodies and I feel that I can't live up to their standards
Past experience of failure
I did not live up to my parents expectations when I was 11 and I ranked 74 out of 2000 students. It was expected of me that I would be among the top 50.
When I was 16, I also did not do excellent in my O-levels. I did ok, but it did not meet the high standards that was expected from a girl who attended the top school in my country.
Insecurity as a defense mechanism
My partner made me just realize this point in me. He took a tool and came to me and acted in a way to hit me. All I did was place my hands over my head and turned my face away and close my eyes. That is what an insecure person does. A secure person would stand up and fight with the other person in self-defense. That was just a physical act and I reacted to it with fear. Obviously there must be many aspects of my life where I do the same. I do not stand up for myself. I just submit.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself for allowing myself to experience confusion, distrust, loneliness, unworthiness, lack of self-acceptance towards myself when I was a kid because of the punishment I was getting from a teacher who disliked me for reasons I will never get to understand. I realize that if this situation came into my life at such as young age, then there must be a reason why I manifested it. It could simply be a download from my parents where I was simply playing out the role of being a victim or it could be something that came into my current life due to past life experiences that I had to transcend. I therefore commit through breath to releasing the memory that I have been holding on to since childhood, where I would be left all by myself during lunch time and being told to eat lunch all by myself.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to develop lack of trust in myself because of my acceptance. I realize that by simply not doing anything or saying anything that I have simply fueled my beingness with self sabotage. I realize that I was simply unwilling to question authority which were my kindergarten teachers and that has lead to me following people with a blind eye. An insecure person is someone who is unwilling to question other people's ideas and beliefs and just simply accepts everything they hear. I commit to breaking this pattern by ensuring that the next time I hear something, that I do my due diligence and investigate the point further before making any conclusions.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to not question people's ideas and beliefs and just allow the situation to rule me over, as opposed to trying to investigate it and finding out why I am in the current situation. I commit to breaking this pattern by engaging in practical research.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to be bullied and succumb to the needs of the bully, who at the time was the point of authority. I realize that by me giving her the power to bully me that I lost all control I had over myself and therefore molded myself to fit her desires. I did so by not doing the best in school and fearing that if I beat her then she will stop talking to me and steal every friend I have. I realize that at this point, there is no benefit for me to hold onto this past memory because I have been able to get a job and so does she. She no longer is a part of my life and we both don't live close to each other. I commit to releasing this memory of being bullied from me through breath and forgiveness and realize that by holding onto this memory, I am still holding on to the fact that I am blaming her and myself for my experience and outcome and engaging in the mind consciousness system of energy.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to engage in self-sabotage by not living up to the expectation of others such as my parents and society. I realize that by allowing myself to live up to other people's expectations only means that I am enslaved to them as I am not living my life but theirs. I commit to let go of this notion of living other people's lives via meeting expectations and understand that at this stage of my life, there is no more expectations to be met from other people. I have achieved what needed to be achieved in this life to be able to support myself. Therefore, there is no reason as to why I need to live up to other people's standards. I commit to releasing this memory that I am holding on through breath and accept the fact that there are no more expectations to live.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to not live up to my own expectations regarding body image, where I would look at Photoshopped images of models and compare them with my own body and experiencing self-dislike and therefore insecurity. I commit to releasing myself from this energetic charged mindset I have created by comparing their bodies to mine via breath. I understand that we are the product of genetics and by wanting to change the way we look, we are simply indulging in the process of lack of self-acceptance as we want to create an image of ourselves that is simply not practical and sometimes unrealistic.
To be continued..
I can't even recall being able to express my feelings to them as in standing up for myself. At that age, it was just too confusing. I therefore developed a sense of distrust.
Peer Pressure and societal expectations
When I was in primary school, I was bullied and the peer pressure involved me not doing the best I could because if I beat the bully in terms of academics, then she would tell everyone to not talk to me and therefore I would feel isolated.
I was under a lot of stress to perform well in school and that was an expectation from my family.
Here in Canada, I compare myself to other top models with sexy slim bodies and I feel that I can't live up to their standards
Past experience of failure
I did not live up to my parents expectations when I was 11 and I ranked 74 out of 2000 students. It was expected of me that I would be among the top 50.
When I was 16, I also did not do excellent in my O-levels. I did ok, but it did not meet the high standards that was expected from a girl who attended the top school in my country.
Insecurity as a defense mechanism
My partner made me just realize this point in me. He took a tool and came to me and acted in a way to hit me. All I did was place my hands over my head and turned my face away and close my eyes. That is what an insecure person does. A secure person would stand up and fight with the other person in self-defense. That was just a physical act and I reacted to it with fear. Obviously there must be many aspects of my life where I do the same. I do not stand up for myself. I just submit.
Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself for allowing myself to experience confusion, distrust, loneliness, unworthiness, lack of self-acceptance towards myself when I was a kid because of the punishment I was getting from a teacher who disliked me for reasons I will never get to understand. I realize that if this situation came into my life at such as young age, then there must be a reason why I manifested it. It could simply be a download from my parents where I was simply playing out the role of being a victim or it could be something that came into my current life due to past life experiences that I had to transcend. I therefore commit through breath to releasing the memory that I have been holding on to since childhood, where I would be left all by myself during lunch time and being told to eat lunch all by myself.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to develop lack of trust in myself because of my acceptance. I realize that by simply not doing anything or saying anything that I have simply fueled my beingness with self sabotage. I realize that I was simply unwilling to question authority which were my kindergarten teachers and that has lead to me following people with a blind eye. An insecure person is someone who is unwilling to question other people's ideas and beliefs and just simply accepts everything they hear. I commit to breaking this pattern by ensuring that the next time I hear something, that I do my due diligence and investigate the point further before making any conclusions.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to not question people's ideas and beliefs and just allow the situation to rule me over, as opposed to trying to investigate it and finding out why I am in the current situation. I commit to breaking this pattern by engaging in practical research.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to be bullied and succumb to the needs of the bully, who at the time was the point of authority. I realize that by me giving her the power to bully me that I lost all control I had over myself and therefore molded myself to fit her desires. I did so by not doing the best in school and fearing that if I beat her then she will stop talking to me and steal every friend I have. I realize that at this point, there is no benefit for me to hold onto this past memory because I have been able to get a job and so does she. She no longer is a part of my life and we both don't live close to each other. I commit to releasing this memory of being bullied from me through breath and forgiveness and realize that by holding onto this memory, I am still holding on to the fact that I am blaming her and myself for my experience and outcome and engaging in the mind consciousness system of energy.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to engage in self-sabotage by not living up to the expectation of others such as my parents and society. I realize that by allowing myself to live up to other people's expectations only means that I am enslaved to them as I am not living my life but theirs. I commit to let go of this notion of living other people's lives via meeting expectations and understand that at this stage of my life, there is no more expectations to be met from other people. I have achieved what needed to be achieved in this life to be able to support myself. Therefore, there is no reason as to why I need to live up to other people's standards. I commit to releasing this memory that I am holding on through breath and accept the fact that there are no more expectations to live.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to not live up to my own expectations regarding body image, where I would look at Photoshopped images of models and compare them with my own body and experiencing self-dislike and therefore insecurity. I commit to releasing myself from this energetic charged mindset I have created by comparing their bodies to mine via breath. I understand that we are the product of genetics and by wanting to change the way we look, we are simply indulging in the process of lack of self-acceptance as we want to create an image of ourselves that is simply not practical and sometimes unrealistic.
To be continued..
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