We are walking the 'underestimating one's potential' character where today we are looking at the side where we simply do not know who we are. Not knowing who one is with respect to potentials/skills/desires is a major root cause leading to us just going through life like a leaf floating on water being directed by tidal waves.
Most of us have some sort of an idea of what our potentials and likes are.But we are never really sure of what we really want. Chances are that if we were, we would be achieving them by now. We would be participating in actions which would lead us to achieve that what we want to achieve. Then why are we not looking to develop our potentials?
When I look at my life, I myself have to answer the question: "why haven't I lived or am I not living my potentials?" The answer that hits me is that I am playing the lazy personality. I would have never imagined that I would turn into someone who is lazy. By lazy I am referring to not being motivated enough to accomplish anything. I just want the comfort and the easy way out. I always thought that my life was hard but now I am realizing that I have been sheltered too much and all the comforts of life have been provided to me.
Consequently, I feel no drive to achieve or do anything more than what I am already doing. Life is just too easy. When life becomes too easy, the mind starts looking for things to counteract that. What I notice is that I end up preoccupying my mind with thoughts of wishing I had a lot of money so that I could simply donate it to poor people. That would be like winning the jackpot and donating money which is really easy. It is like the perfect escape to not taking 100% responsibility and walking the system to actually achieve financial stability and dreaming that money will simply pour itself into one's life. That is what the lazy character does. It plays out situations in the mind where one simply obtains things easy and instead of educating ourselves, we just want the easy way out.
What I am starting to realize is that by not engaging in self discipline through creating new habits I am simply giving into this constant loop of just seeking comfort. Sometimes I imagine myself turning 100 and looking back regretting that I did not participate in activities where I would have made a difference in my life and that of others. Guilt then follows. Breaking habits and patterns is indeed something that takes commitment and discipline.
SF:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop this lazy character where I would simply just give in and not engage in activities or behaviors that will benefit society and myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not further develop my potentials by constantly trying to find excuses for not engaging in anything.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in thoughts of wishing to win the jackpot so that I can just live in ease and help other people to do the same.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience shame and guilt for wanting to make a lot of money and helping out people via donating or just give them money away.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel mad at myself for not having any potential and viewing myself as a boring individual.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not make the most of what I have currently by giving my 100% to anything.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear making a lot of money and as a consequence just donate all my money away to some cause so that I evade taking 100% responsibility to creating something out of this money which would be best for all.
I commit to taking 100% responsibility to engage in activities that will sustain my physical and direct me to doing what is best for all by breaking out of bad habits.
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